Do you feel what you think, or think what you feel?
Lately, I’ve been doing my best to be more accurate in terms of when I say “I think” and “I feel.” In reading books like Please Understand Me, I’ve been able to recognize that I often mix up the two. There is a very big difference between what you think and what you feel. However, for someone like me who shows a strong preference for logic over emotion, the two can become indistinguishable — it can be difficult for me to know when I’m actually feeling, and moreover, allow myself to feel when necessary. On the flip side, for someone who shows a strong preference for emotion over logic, it can be difficult for them to distinguish between when they’re actually thinking, or using false logic as a guise for what they feel.

Go figure that for someone who prefers logic and deduction over feeling, it is easier for me to explain this from the other point of view than my own (which is, in essence, why I am trying so hard to learn to discriminate between my thoughts and feelings). When friends of mine who prefer to utilize their emotion before their logic are dealing with a situation, they will often feel things first and act accordingly, and then use “I think” phrases or sentiments to make their feelings seem logical, even when they might not be. While those feelings are hardly invalid, to the professed thinkers (such as myself), they become invalid when one attempts to make it appear as though an emotional decision was made with logic. In my case, at least, it is almost offensive to me and my method for one to make that claim.

In contrast, I tend to think things first and act accordingly. The interesting thing, however, is that the concept of feeling makes me uneasy and I tend to push how I might feel into the very depths of my mind. How I approached leaving for Russia is a prime example of this. I approached it from a very logical and rational position: It was a move that made sense with my career goals and passions as I had known them for the past five years. But, I ignored how I really felt about it, which was frightened beyond all reason (literally) of losing Randy. For me, identifying the feelings beneath my thought processes is the hard part. For emotional types, taking a step back from their feelings to assess the situation logically is the hard part.

And this is why it is so important to learn to recognize when you think and when you feel. For me, I have to learn to recognize when I am feeling. For those that are emotional, they have to learn to recognize when they need to think.

Who knows, maybe I’m entirely off-base in my assessment of the emotional types — and if I am, let me know. All of this is my attempt to get more in touch with my emotions so I can relate and above all communicate better with those of my friends who follow their gut before their head. Any little piece of insight can and will help.