Archive Listing

I try not to think about my age much. Whenever I stop and think about the fact that I’m only 19, well, I guess the only “emotion” I can attribute to it is disappointment. I don’t feel 19, I don’t know how old I feel. Part of the issue is that I’ve always felt at least somewhat older than both other people my age and the “adult” world’s perception of people my age. In my current condition (read: career job, going back to school knowing exactly what I want, being at peace with who I am, seeing marriage in my short-term future), I feel leagues older than what American culture seems to think a 19 year old should be. This cultural perception frustrates me.

Discussing my friendships online is difficult for me, let alone my relationship. I generally feel that these are sacred and extremely private, especially considering no one else understands them aside from those in them with me. But I would be remiss to leave Randy out of this.