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One year ago today we had to put Cassie down. This is something I wrote a week later at work when I couldn’t think about or focus on anything other than my loss and my grief.

Over the last several months I’ve been having a recurring dream. I used to have these types of things frequently, though when I was younger such “dream series” were often fantastical in nature; the stuff of a good story. This dream though, is my first that really means something and is indicative of supressed guilt.

On January 16, we had to put down Cassie, our beloved ten year old standard poodle who had been diagnosed with lymphoma exactly a year prior. We did everything we could, including chemo. And she had even gone into recession and was just a few weeks shy of hitting the “magic 7 months” after which most dogs rarely went out of remission.