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I’ve been thinking a lot lately on attitudes and outlooks. It wasn’t all that long ago that I was easily (and correctly) categorized as a bitter cynic, often pessimistic. These days, however, I am keenly optimistic and enthusiastic about the future and my life. And, oddly enough, I think the catalyst for this change was my parents’ decision not to cosign my loans for college.

April 28, 2008. In exactly four months I will be, in all likelihood, on a plane leaving my world and all I know and love behind. I must be crazy. Who in their right mind willfully goes to be alone in a foreign land, in full knowledge of the fact that they will be unable to communicate properly for weeks and months? This isn’t sane. This isn’t normal. This is the first time in my life I’ve taken a step completely in the dark and totally unaware of where my feet will fall — be it on solid ground or nothing at all.

I think I will always wonder what could have been with Dickinson. Really and truly, I think I could have found great friends there and am truly sad I will never have the chance to find out “what could have been” at Dickinson. It really is a great school and I would have loved to go.