Archive Listing

Searching for a song fitting for the father-daughter dance at my wedding has made me ponder my relationship with my father quite a bit over the last several weeks. I’ve come to realize how much of our bond is unspoken and difficult to describe. In many ways, it is stunted and as it was when I was twelve and our family was going through some rough times. The lines of communication are more difficult than they are with my mother, who is, in many ways, a real friend.

It is far too easy to get caught up in the magnitude of my situation and what lies on the horizon. It is far too easy to obsess over what is coming while forgetting what is before me now. In all of this madness it is, unfortunately, far too easy to lose myself.

I am strangely excited for Irkutsk today. I wish I had my visa. I wish I knew what day I was leaving. I am excited to be in Russia, finally living there, breathing everything Russian for an entire ten months. Today I’m not nervous, I’m not scared, I’m not worried… I’m overwhelmingly curious and antsy. I know that next year will be hard, but I know that it will also be full of invaluable life lessons and unpredictable adventures.