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Growing up, I have always felt more masculine than feminine, and numerous personality tests I have taken over the years have showed me skewing more toward testosterone tendencies than estrogen (but whether that’s a reflection of my personal perception of myself or reality is another question entirely). I cannot recall ever being distraught by this. However, finding my role in society and, in my relationship with Randy, has taken more time and been more difficult. And as my priorities and goals shift more toward building my own successful family, I find these questions to find their way more to the forefront than before.

Here I sit in my new apartment after the first night of sleeping in it. My roommate is at the dining table on the computer, our blinds and sliding door are open, the dog is wandering somewhat suspiciously around and it doesn’t really feel like home yet. Often, I catch myself referring to my parents’ house as home and have to stop and take it back.