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personality

Growing up, I have always felt more masculine than feminine, and numerous personality tests I have taken over the years have showed me skewing more toward testosterone tendencies than estrogen (but whether that’s a reflection of my personal perception of myself or reality is another question entirely). I cannot recall ever being distraught by this. However, finding my role in society and, in my relationship with Randy, has taken more time and been more difficult. And as my priorities and goals shift more toward building my own successful family, I find these questions to find their way more to the forefront than before.

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And once it started it was harder to tell them apart

August 13, 2008 in Personal · One comment

Do you feel what you think, or think what you feel?
Lately, I’ve been doing my best to be more accurate in terms of when I say “I think” and “I feel.” In reading books like Please Understand Me, I’ve been able to recognize that I often mix up the two. There is a very big difference between what you think and what you feel. However, for someone like me who shows a strong preference for logic over emotion, the two can become indistinguishable — it can be difficult for me to know when I’m actually feeling, and moreover, allow myself to feel when necessary. On the flip side, for someone who shows a strong preference for emotion over logic, it can be difficult for them to distinguish between when they’re actually thinking, or using false logic as a guise for what they feel.

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I’m gonna stay here till I soothe my soul

June 5, 2008 in Personal, Recommended · 2 comments

I found a Russian couple on flickr several months ago. One of them grew up in Ulan Ude, which is on the other side of Lake Baikal from Irkutsk. Last month I met up with them to gather insights about the area and to ease my nerves. Last week, she emailed me to ask how I was doing and I told her I was backing out of Russia and explained a little bit about why. She responded with this Russian proverb: “Don’t ruin a good thing by looking for something even better.”

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And they write, “Don’t be a stranger, y’hear.”

April 15, 2008 in Personal · No comments

I’ve been thinking a lot lately of how difficult it is for me to write on this website as opposed to my previous one. It is much more difficult as my audience is and will be people I know personally. It was one thing to write my thoughts and feelings to the web without really knowing my audience, but I find it is something entirely different to write knowing that people I come in contact with, even on an intermittent basis, will have possibly read.

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